badass girls
“BADASS”
adj. 1. fearless, authentic, and compassionate, Urban Dictionary
1:1 mentoring with Lily
🐬🌱💖🧚
Currently enrolling January - March 2025
Oh hey, precious!!
I’m Lily 🙂
And I’m so glad that you’re here. I’m a professional big sister for big-hearted preteens and teens socialized as girls who want to feel more confident being their real selves.
[💞 want mentorship for a young adult? click here to get on Eliza’s waitlist]
“Mentoring with Lily is where I can show up and be myself – however I literally am. It’s magical.”
- Eloise, mentee, age 13
If you’re reading this right now, I’m gonna guess that you have a big heart (me too).
And you’re reading this because someone who loves you suggested mentoring… congrats!
Ok, but let’s be real: sometimes it can be really, really hard to have a big heart. We get called ‘sensitive’ (in a bad way) and ‘too much’ and somewhere along the way… we start to learn that we’ve got to hide our real selves in order to be enough, safe and loved.
I know this one so well – my ‘too much’ big heart has been squashed more times than I can count… by the friend who thought my tears were a problem, or I was ‘too excited’ when I refused to be chill about the things I care about, or the teacher who didn’t like it when I had strong opinions in his class. It can feel like you have to fit into a painful, cookie cutter box of ‘same same’ as everyone else.
It can feel like you’ve got to be perfect – walking the line between being smart but not too smart, nice but not too nice, pretty but not too pretty. And when it comes to juggling the friend stuff and the school stuff and the body stuff and the family stuff… while also somehow trying to be kind to yourself and real?! oh my gosh it can feel like way too much sometimes.
Here’s the thing, my love: your heart isn’t too much (and you deserve badass support that helps you feel that way).
“Being mentored by Lily is like taking a deep breath in my life. I get to share anything with her and not feel judged. I’m so grateful for her.”
— Gia, mentee, age 12
That’s me on the left, grooving with my mentor Eliza
A little about me…
I started mentoring preteen and teen girls and folks socialized as girls over 5 years ago because … too many of us go through the teen years feeling really alone, or just thinking that we should get mental health support if life gets really bad or we’re in ‘crisis’. I believe that everyone deserves support – and having a big sister who has your back should be normal.
I know this because I had it in my own teen years. My mentor, Eliza, founded Badass Girls – and, if you can believe it, I was her first ever mentee (or little sister)!! I literally started Badass Girls (ha) because I asked Eliza to mentor me (claim to fame). I’m so glad I was brave enough to ask for support. It changed my life (I wouldn’t be here writing this page to you if it hadn’t … and so many other magical unbelievable good things that I call ‘normal’ now).
Having a mentor (or professional big sister as we also like to call it here) is having someone who will never judge you, doesn’t think anything you could say is ‘weird’ or ‘too much’, isn’t afraid of big feelings (because I’ve been there and I get it), and more than anything … wants to really know, love and celebrate the real you. My goal isn’t to change you, it’s to get to know you.
“With Lily, I finally feel like I can talk to someone who sees the real me. Now, I feel more confident finding friendships that feel like that.”
— Elspeth, mentee, age 12
Even though we (maybe) haven’t met yet, I’ve got a dream for you…
and I think it might be a dream you have for yourself too.
Picture this: over the next few months, something big shifts… and it’s not that you have a miraculous makeover and somehow become a different ‘perfect’ person that everyone likes… it’s that you feel more calm, more settled, more YOU because you have a big sister that has your back.
We laugh. We talk about nothing and everything. And gently (and magically) you get to feel what’s possible: you having your own back in a more real way than ever before. Maybe that means you feel more brave being your real self in your life, and expressing your feelings without being afraid of being ‘too much’ (or if they think you’re ‘too much’... than they’re not really your people). Or that you feel more clear headed and able to handle whatever life throws at you this school year.
But above all… you’re building a friendship with yourself in a way you never thought was possible AKA you’re learning to be truly kind to yourself, the mean inner critic in your head feels a lot less loud, you have tools to face your uncomfortable feelings and you feel more free because of it, and… you trust yourself.
Sound good to you?
It sounds so good to me.
“Before being mentored, I was so tired of having friends who didn’t lift me up. Now, I have someone in my corner who celebrates me and makes me feel good about myself. Having support like that has changed my life.”
— Eden, mentee, age 12
Wondering what 1:1 calls with me are like?
I get this question a lot because many of my mentees have never done calls with a mentor before.
Imagine that you’re sitting down for a chat with the best big sister ever (or not sitting down if that’s not your thing … we might have a dance party, or make art, or stretch, or bake … yes, literally on a call together if that’s your jam). The point of every single mentoring call is that it feels nourishing and supportive to you – so I’m not going to ask you to change for me, instead I’m going to get to know you and together we’ll build sessions together that really work for YOUR brand of magic.
You might bring specific questions or a specific situation in your life that you want big sister support about … or you might just show up ready to hang (with no idea what to talk about!) and we figure it out together.
Sessions together will always be a mix of check-ing in about your life that week, and the Badass Girls pre-planned curriculum (customized to you) where you get big sister support to learn key life tools oriented around your own goals for growth. For example, you might want support around confidence, big feelings, body image, school stress, or something else (whatever it is … I got you!).
what’s included in 1:1 mentoring?
6, 1:1 50 minute sessions with Lily (two a month, scheduled whenever works for you in my calendar)
1:1 text and audio support with Lily in between calls (mentee can message Lily whenever, Lily responds weekly during mentor office hours)
Assigned supportive resources (as applicable): journaling prompts, books, podcast episodes, etc.
Parent email access to Lily available as needed throughout the program to support mentee in getting the most out of the program (all mentee calls are confidential)
Who is 1:1 mentoring for?
Mentees who are a great fit for 1:1 support often find:
You want a big sister in your back pocket that’s not family or a friend your age or a therapist/school counselor… someone who gets it and there’s no ‘weird’ questions to ask
You love the idea of a few video calls a month and texting/audio support :) you’re like… bring on the ONLINE support puhlease (calls from the comfort of your own bedroom?? Yes, thank you!)
You want to show up for yourself and create a positive change in your life
You feel comfortable bringing your own goals, intentions and questions to Lily so that you can co-create the sessions together (!!)
You want to keep exploring these topics outside of your sessions with Lily and you’re excited to dive into whatever practices you and Lily together decide would be a great fit for you
Your parent/guardian(s) feels sooooo great about you having a mentor to facilitate open real conversations (including talking about: periods, body image, anxiety, gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, pleasure, and sex). your home/family is pro the sex positive family approach, and agrees with the research that shows that the more informed kids are about their bodies, the less shame they experience, and the more discerning choices they make for themselves.
The adults in your life are able to pay for the program with ease
If you (the participant) are struggling (and aren’t we all sometimes, hello to being human), you’ve got a wonderful support system outside of this mentorship program (for example: a therapist or counselor) and this mentorship is one wonderful part of your support system (yay!)
Hey brave parent of a badass preteen or teen,
I’m so grateful you’re here. Seriously, whether I mentor your kid or not in this season of life – I’m so grateful for wise, conscious parents of teens who are showing up for this exciting life phase with courage and curiosity.
For so long in our culture, we’ve approached the teen years as a problem that needs to be fixed – and in turn the teens themselves feel it. I know I did – and even though I had (and have!) a wonderful, loving mama – it wasn’t until I got a mentor that I had the intergenerational support I needed to thrive. It takes a village – and that’s why Badass Girls was founded.
As a mentor, I get to be a guidepost on your child’s sacred path towards themselves, and into a truer, deeper adulthood. At the core of my practice, is my belief that every mentee is already whole (not broken, a problem or missing something key), and that when given the right nourishment… a teen thrives.
Mentorship is about creating a loving and brave environment that allows true growth to happen. I believe in being curious about who your child already is and who they’re becoming.
So often, parents I talk to are exhausted by trying to give their preteen or teen all the ‘right’ and ‘good’ advice – and feeling like mostly they’re not listening the way they used to when they were younger. Tag me in!
The fact is you’re probably giving REALLY good advice, and we’re meant to live in intergenerational villages where big sisters and aunties and cousins are part of the team supporting a young person to bloom. YOU don’t need to do quite so much alone anymore.
I’d be honored to connect with you and learn more about the potential of being on your precious kid’s team.
With love,
Lily
SOME WORDS FROM PARENTS:
(WHOSE TEENS ARE MENTORED WITH ME)
“Lily helped my daughter see that she wasn’t alone in experiencing the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that come with adolescence. My daughter developed a stronger sense of self, more self-compassion, and the confidence to tackle the inevitable challenges, big or small, that many teenage girls face on the road to adulthood.”
“I love the voice in her ear... the one that has become her own inner voice. I love the pressure it takes off me - that she is getting great messages even if I haven’t managed to have the conversation myself.”
“Mentorship is a safe and important space for my daughter to lean into while she navigates everything a teenager navigates. Now, she knows she’s not alone and has a place to land when things get hard. I swear it’s what saved her this past year.”
“My kid is always so happy when she knows it’s the day she’ll have a mentor meeting with Lily. She knows she’ll be seen, heard, and engaged in a way that feels true to her. Being mentored by Lily has brought her the confidence to better know just how incredible she is and to be kind to herself while navigating this tricky world.”
The Investment
Pay-in-full: $450
[or]
3-month payment plan: $150 x 3 months
❤️❤️❤️
Extended payment plans and sliding scale may be available. Email me at lilzkafka@gmail.com to learn more.
more about Lily
Lily is a Certified Badass Girls Mentor, a period nerd, and a forever student of belonging. She began her journey with Eliza at Mothering & Daughtering as a teenager, first as a participant in the workshops with her mom, and then as a M&D assistant. Lily was then the first Badass Girls mentee, the first Badass Girls assistant, and the first Certified Badass Girls Mentor with almost a decade of facilitation experience now under her belt in her early 20s (when you know, you know).
Lily graduated from Skidmore College with a degree in Sociology. She has worked as a co-teacher for Wise Bodies, leading workshops on pleasure activism, and was a community organizer at her college demanding divestment.
More than anything Lily loves being out in nature – and you’ll likely find her talking to a plant, growing food, or studying up for her next herbalism school class.
“Being mentored by Lily is like having your wildest dreams of non-stop support come true. Lily listens to me and just gets me and loves me. If you’re on the fence about being mentored … do it”
— Gia, mentee, age 12
FAQ:
What ages do you mentor? How old do you have to be (or young)?
In general, I mentor people ages 10-17. If you’re outside that age group and want to connect about a unique way of working together — I may be open! Email me :)
Do you offer payment plans?
Yes. See the investment details on this page.
I’m not sure my preteen/teen will go for 1:1 mentoring, but I really want them to be mentored by you!! Suggestions?
Oh, sweet parent/guardian, this is SO common! Most preteens and teens don't really know how to conceive of a ‘professional big sister’ — since it’s so different from other forms of mental health support they may be aware of. Layer that on with — sometimes a suggestion from a well-intentioned adult doesn’t always go smoothly! My nudge: hop on an exploratory call with me and we can brainstorm ways to get your kid on an exploratory call all together. I say this because once your kid is actually on a call and can chat with me face-to-face, there’s much more space and ease in assessing true alignment and the potential for connection.
How many calls are there every month?
There are 2 calls every month, as well as access to text and audio support in between calls via a private messenger app.
What’s your refund policy?
Due to the limited space and delivery nature of the program, there are no refunds.
“It feels so important to have a mentor who’s there for me during the good times AND the hard times. And, we just have so much fun together!”
— Nova, mentee, age 10
The Investment
Pay-in-full: $450
[or]
3-month payment plan: $150 x 3 months
❤️❤️❤️
Extended payment plans and sliding scale may be available. Email me at lilzkafka@gmail.com to learn more.
“Being mentored by Lily has empowered me to know that I don’t have to change anything about myself to be worthy or loved.”
— Eden, mentee, age 12
Want to get mentored?
Here are your next steps…
So, if you’re feeling a HELL YES to mentoring … (or you just want to explore what it might be like) the next step is to schedule an exploratory call with me!
An exploratory call is a free 20 minutes on Zoom together where quite simply: WE HANG OUT. The purpose of this call is to go beyond this page and meet in real time and see if we’re a good fit – you for me and me for you. Parent(s) or caregiver(s) are welcome to come solo for a first exploratory call and then schedule a second call for just their potential mentees – or you can come to the same call together (and I’ll invite you to each have solo time with me on the call, as well as time together). It’s up to you!
Interested in other offerings by Lily?
Beyond working 1:1 with preteens and teens, I also may be leading workshops throughout the year on self-trust, periods/cycle literacy, and more! If you want to be up to date on upcoming offerings and events led by me, click here to join my email list: